SVH reimagined

Next up — pivotal scenes from your favorite Sweet Valley High novels, reimagined with even more bad dialogue and continuity errors!

December 4, 2007. Tags: Fiction, Sweet Valley. Uncategorized.

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Bruce Patman

Tip #2: Driving a hot car attracts shallow women who are just ripe for the picking. (And remember, date rape in a shitty car is just rape.) 1 hour ago
If you weren't lucky enough to be born into wealth, gambling on high school soccer is surprisingly lucrative. 1 day ago
Tip #1: Be incredibly rich. The authorities are much more forgiving of date rape when you can bribe them. 1 day ago
Yeah, @Ronnie_Edwards, I have much to teach you. Don't listen to @johnpfeifernews — he couldn't even close the deal with @LilaFowler. 1 day ago
Where do I start with my many, many suggestions for #arealwife? So much misogyny, only 140 characters for me to fit it in. 3 days ago

About

If you don't remember these plot lines, there's a good reason -- they're figments of my sick, twisted imagination. I started this blog to chronicle my 2007 National Novel Writing Month piece, Double Penetration, a parody of the Sweet Valley High series. I enjoyed writing it so much that I've decided to continue the blog, using ridiculous lines from actual Sweet Valley High novels as a jumping-off point for creating short fiction pieces. Think of it as literary improv gone horribly, horribly wrong.

SVH reimagined

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Bruce Patman

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