Tag Archives: Amy Sutton
Suddenly, Jessica felt her head being yanked backward by some unseen force. The prom queen crown was ripped from her head with such force it made her yell.
“What the fuck?” Jessica cried, straightening up and placing both hands on the top of her head, which was sensitive from the blow.
“Todd!” Ken cried in surprise.
“You have a lot of nerve, Jessica Wakefield,” Todd said, waving the crown in Jessica’s face. “Wearing the crown that I made to the prom as if you had it in the bag?”
“I fucking do have it in the bag,” Jessica retorted, smoothing down her hair. “I’m a Wakefield twin, remember?” Todd delivers a raging bitchslap
“Oh,” Lila said condescendingly. “Well, when you see Jessica, tell her to come find me, OK? I can’t wait to show off little Rich!”
“Sure, Lila,” Elizabeth said. “I’ll be sure to tell her.”
Lila turned away, searching for someone else to brag to. She started in Amy’s direction, but Elizabeth caught her arm.
“Lila, wait,” she said. Lila turned a curious eye to her. “After the prom queen is crowned, get out of the gym, OK?”
“Why would I want to do that?” Lila asked. “That’s when the fun will just be getting started!”
“That’s when the fun will just be getting started for Big Mesa,” Elizabeth said darkly.
“What are you planning?” Lila asked, trying to control her voice so it wouldn’t give away the note of fear that sounded in her head like an alarm.
“Let’s just say we took a page from John Pfeifer’s book,” Elizabeth said ominously. Bombs, bombs, bombs
“All right, girls,” Mr. Jaworski said, sitting down behind Mr. Collins’ desk. “I guess the first thing we’ll do is take attendance.” It took almost half an hour for Mr. Jaworski to call out all the names of the girls in the class, noting that Elizabeth was missing. “OK. Now that we’ve done that, let’s all read our textbooks quietly to ourselves.”
“But we don’t even have textbooks,” Amy said. “Mr. Collins usually just talks to us about his own experiences with the female reproductive system.”
“Well, I’m afraid I can’t do that,” said Mr. Jaworski, pushing his glasses up his nose.
“Because you don’t want to get arrested, like Mr. Collins?” Caroline asked.
“No,” Mr. Jaworski said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, “because I’ve never been with a woman.” Let’s be real, Mr. Collins is a pimp
“OK, got it,” Amy said. “It’s a bit dusty. I don’t think we’ve ever had a teen pregnancy in Sweet Valley before.” Amy sneezed. “It’s from the 1950s, so I’m not sure how much good it will do.”
“I’m sure it will be fine,” Elizabeth said encouragingly.
Amy began to read in a halting, monotone voice. “So you just found out you’re going to be an unwed mother? What to do? Luckily, the woman of today has several options. You can fall down the stairs, or take a knitting needle–”
“Amy, stop,” Elizabeth said, cringing. “I’m not going to hurt my baby. There’s something else I have to tell you. I think my baby is the second coming of Christ.” WUT??